have i mentioned how much i adore mike? i was talking to him about zann, and i said the thing about the high school drama/mentality/dynamics, how i just couldnt put up with it anymore. he said that he and jon noticed this awhile ago, and thought of themselves as kind of on their own.... i dunno why, it made me feel really vindicated. here's a guy who's been on his own pretty much all his life, and another guy who knows what it's like to be a parent (do you realize how hard it is to act like a stupid kid when you HAVE one, and how little patience you suddenly have for "adults" acting like idiots? especially when you're doing it pretty much on your own?) i just really felt like he got what i was saying. like, at least someone in the "group" could see me for who i AM, not what i WAS. it was so fucking nice! and he told me that no matter what happened with everyone else, that he'd always be there. i needed to hear that. REALLY FUCKING BAD. even more so, i needed to believe it. from mike, its something i totally trust.
also pretty good: i emailed nic a couple days ago to find out the name of this beach he told me about last year (and i know what some of you are thinking: fuck off). so he emailed me back, and we've been having this nice conversation over email.... it's just kinda good to think that after all the crazy shit that happened with us we can be cool and friendly. lol, i guess that's the up side of never having sex....
i have to hit last vestage tomorrow for some more records, and arlenes for more paint. this summer i have a very specific list of work to finish:
1) "kama sutra" (13 positions illustrated in Zapfino in a hand bound portfolio box)
2) "pussy willow" (20 illustrations: it starts with the side view of a thick naked woman, and each page a "branch" of pussy willows starts to grow from her no no spot. so by the end, it looks like she's got this giant organic erection, lol. yes, iits an expression of my penis envy.
3) no name (though i'm thinking something like "spring" .... ) (a series of line drawings, somewhat picasso style, illustrating a man and a woman sitting next to each other, naked.... they're eyes meet, they move in closer... start to kiss, fuck, and as they're fucking, they both start to turn into something completely hideous.... hard work to psychoanalyze that, huh?)
4) THE RECORD PRINTS! (intaglio style printing with these old scratched up records, that are then run through the press.... i've started playing with odd placements on the page (cropping), mixing weird colors, breaking the records while inn the press, blocking off the center of the records and re-printing that with a different color.... just really fooling with it until i feel like i've found the essence. lol, this one could take awhile :))
5) "waste not, want not" (a plank on the wall with pegs on it, like you would see in someone's garage.... there will be all different types and sizes of paintbrushes hanging from it, except where the bristles should be are scraps of my palatte paper bound into little books of abstract painting. the pieces are movable annd rearrangable, so technically, it should never look the same twice. some books i plan to have actual words in, too)
6) no name (a series of "life size" books....6 feet wide, but of a normal height, so like one book may fit on one shelf at barnes and noble, lol. what i'm thinking here is to attach wire in the binding and actually BENDING the spine so the book becomes organic... sculputral. then i'm going to cover it in some kind of niec brown material, and afix the bark from those trees that got cut down over the sememster... those beautiful old lighting struck trees.... I'm thinking about a few of these, variosu heights -- maybe if i get REALLY ambitious, SUPER tall, and arranging them in a way that makes you feel like your walking through a "book forest" or something... kinda alice and wonderland-y, lol... i've already made a hundred signatures for this!)
7) MAD PAPERMAKING
8) Publish my portfolio online with the space alotted by road runner.
9) and mostly, finish the "Incognito" series. its great, because i'm going to HAVE to take a trip down to the met to get some pics for reference, lol.... my idea is to have this room filled top to bottom with these life size nudes.... i can only image the feeling walking into a room like that. the thing is, i don't ever want you to be able to see the women's faces, or if you DO, to have them turned away... ohhh, there's the catholic coming out in me....)
10) If i have time, and he's up for it, i was gong to ask button to pose for me -- i still haven't worked out my fucking painting with a guitar. i was really going for something kinda modern/picasso, but its just wasn't working on this other canvas....
11) I'm going to take a ton of pictures on our trip to mystic beach, and hopefully get some things to paint from there. also, planning on doing a bunch of hiking and maybe doing some rough nature painting, watercolors or something....
12) and i'm going to submit pussy willow and kama sutra to the adobe contest, along with the wimberly brochure (man i wish i could get it reprinted!!!) i also only have a little more time to finish my history of graphic design book..... thats got to be at the publishers by the end of may.
13) grant proposals going in, for the thing with olya, and the thing with linda....
14) AND the charity work i'd like to do with fonkoze.
lol, so thats my summer... told you guys this shit was going to get boring :)