soooooooo...here i am again. damn, i wish this thing had saved some of my older entries (or i didn't delte them??) who knows, who cars. yeah, it's that kind of mood, but isn't it always when i'm up and running on diaryland?
the worst part is, i don't actually have anything to grip about. i'm just...blah. can't even blame the wellbutrin, cause i haven't been taking it. i guess there's hit i should be pissed about, like what my brother said to me on the phone the other day, or the fact that lane has to jump to conclusions whenever i get a message from another guy, or why i've been listening to 'back to black' on repeat for the past three hours. there's a lot worse shit happening in the world, particually in the country, right now, nad seriously, if we're looking at things relativly, i've got it pretty fucking decent. just got a raise (in a time when most people are loosing thier jobs), and i can (for once) take care of myself. and that's all ANYONE really /needs/, right? yeah, it is. all this other stuff, it's just icing for a big, fat survival cake. and it doesn't matter.
and the fact that lane just walked in makes things...weird. and now i'm not so sure i meant anything i just wrote. because it sorta is important, yeah?
...
nope. not really. watching him leave (this time maybe for good) solidified that. because while i should, i really /should/, i just don't care. i mean i do, but i don't. not enough to make it stop, or to fix it, or to....do anything but sit here and type without any thought or reason.
should i? yeah, perhaps. but...