Though he hasn't asked me to wait, in fact, has encouraged me to find something else, I get the sense that it's not really what he wants me to do. It's totally unfair, and I feel guilty looking for something else when...I dunno. When I don't want to, or shouldn't have to. Besides, how do you give someone new your full attention when you've already kinda got something for someone else? That's not really fair, either. Or at least, not to the new person. And in the long run, not to myself.
It's destined to be another one of those "I knew better" situations.
So he took a vow of abstinence, and yet somehow is going to mature to the point that he's ready for marriage and kids and whatnot. Maybe that worked in the 1700's, and perhaps on some level it can be interpreted as romantic, but in the real world, it's just as naive as Heather's "I'll find my Prince Charming at a club, and the seas of dancing people will part and we'll look at each other and just /know/". Yea. No. It doesn't work like that. Then again, maybe there is another 23 year old virgin out there somewhere who isn't affiliated with Christian rights. God bless him for trying.
On top of that, he criticizes /my/ choices as being safe. As if refusing to really get close to someone until after you're married isn't /the/ safest thing to do? Yea, sorry there's no chemistry but we're SO stuck together. Because yea, there can be chemistry between two people and then you actually get down to doing it and it's like "ew, get off".
It was pretty clear to me after the conversation we had this morning, though, that it wasn't going to happen. He said he's waiting until he's married, and I am SOOOO not getting married again. So right there, off the bat, its a big fat no. And I'm not talking about sex, I'm saying there's no reason to even date because the future is thwarted before it ever really starts. That's not to say that I wouldn't consider marriage, at some point. But after the first round, I want a test drive. I'm not getting myself into anything I can't handle. On top of that, if marriage ever really were an option for me, it wouldn't be for a very, very long time. A VERY long time.
So, I have to let it go. I have to /find/ some way of letting it go.