this morning, i woke up, and i got ready to go to this stupid baby shower (only cause its free brunch, and brunch is so fucking yummy). anyway, i was thinking about the fight with jeff last night, and how he was saying that everything was in my head.... that i jumped to conclusion too quickly based on stuff i thought i knew, took certain things out of context, or thought i heard something a certain way that i didnt....sound familiar? it's what levi was doing to me.
everytime i finally think i'm okay with "the group" something little happens and the big ball of anxiety knots up in my stomach again, and i start to worry, and rethink everythign i said or did, get ready to defend/explain myself.... my issues with them are sorta weird and non-concrete; i see them all together as this cliquiy high school dragon, ready to breath drama upon me.... just something i'd rather get away from than deal with. wether i'm right or not, it's how i percieve it, and how i react to it.... turning me into this person i'm not.is it something i can pick up in the future? with certain people, yeah, i think so. others, i'd die happy never seeing again. right now, i'm going to just do what i want to do, regardless of who or why. fuck what everyone else thinks.
word. and the only think *i'm* thinking about from now until 11 is sausage, eggs and bacon. LOTS OF FUCKING BACON.