i'm obsessed with sims superstar. its so fucking sad.
my credit is almost clear: one more bill to pay and i can officially get a house.... not here, of course.... just nice to know the option is open. maybe williamstown? or god, out west? i just want to be in the country, no matter what; not too far removed from civilization, but far enough that if i run out of food its easier to go pick shit out of the garden then to run to price chopper.....
ordered the g5 today, and selling the g4 to jeff....god, i cant wait! 4k worth of mac machine...
schrek 2 has made me all doey eyed again. not in the way i want, really, and i'm sure i'm only going to wind up emotionally mangled in a major way, but its nice to feel SOMETHING, even if it IS completely wrong. what can i say? i'm a slave to beautiful ideals.
i want to see b! damn him.....im starting to think it might not go anywhere, which is totally cool with me. he's awesome, and i love having him around....lol, again, just really not ready for anything. or maybe that's just an excuse....? i dunno. long and short: not totally feelin it. and i'm be fucking damned if i force anything again.
and i heard from ken, believe it or not.... i didnt think he was going to get back to me at all.... i'm glad he did. things ended pretty....strangly. i still dont think there's any possibility, at this point, of a friendship, but its nice to know that after everything we can me mature and cival. i really did care a lot about him, and his entire family, and wonder about them more than i probably should, especially his dad and mary and mackenzie....eh. all in all, he just wasnt what i was looking for. and i think, eventually he would have realized that, too: he needs someone younger and....ready to be more established. he was really comfortable with his life, and i'm still pretty antsy -- i still have way too much to do, and not nearly enough time.... i'm just totally not ready to settle. with a guy, i could, but with....life in general, i guess, i cant. if i thought he was more open minded to major life changes; moving, and i mean total upheaval, leaving family, just DOING IT, that kinda thing, then maybe it would have worked. i just dont want to be limited, at least, not right now, not when theres still so much out there i dont know....
well, i'm going back to sims. its sad; i've only been on vacation for less than a week, and already i'm dying to get back to school.... lol, WONT be saying that in two months, in sure.....